Comments on: 10 Reasons Not to Pay for Your Kids College

By: Yana

Yana — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:14:04 +0000

I agree with you. Some people are not college material, which in no way guarantees that they cannot attain financial success without it. In fact, it takes more than a college education to succeed. And that “more” alone can be enough for great success.

I shudder when I think of those who accumulated huge debt for their educations, and therefore have to earn much more in order to begin a clean financial slate. And I shudder for myself, because I see something highly wrong with overpaying for professional services because I am paying for someone’s educational debt. These, however, are those who truly need the education for their career, and the ones who have the ambition, intelligence, and what it takes in general to succeed in their profession should be able to get that education on their merits – through scholarships and the like.

I live debt-free today, but of the debts I took on in the past, my student loan is the only one I really regret. It was not that big, but it was an infuriating waste that I couldn’t afford to pay back, but was literally forced to do so. On the positive side, it was a big part of my decision to never finance anything again, so if I can do that indefinitely, perhaps it will have been worth it.

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By: Adam

Adam — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 22:04:51 +0000

@Stephanie – I agree with you that there are many in both camps that are really bad at school in general. I just see more of the bad things in the ‘my mom and dad pay for it’ camp. That’s just my perception. I really do not know what the actual statistics are and I would be very happy to see some research done. I really doubt there will be though, unless I do it myself. I don’t see that happening the in near future!

By: Stephanie PTY

Stephanie PTY — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:29:01 +0000

I have to agree with what E.C. said, namely “I’ve had classmates who “paid their own way” primarily with loans who had no more sense of what their education meant than the worst of the people whose parents footed the whole bill.”

At a certain point, loans just don’t feel like “you’re paying.” Knowing that I would have $40,000+ in loans upon graduation made it hard to associate payment to any particular class. And I had friends who had full scholarships that were extremely diligent and carried 4.0s (or close to) at a school where that’s extremely difficult to do.

Although I think a lot of your points are valid, I feel like the “we will appreciate it more if we pay our own way” argument should be put to bed.

By: See My Money

See My Money — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:00:51 +0000

Good points. I am saving for education in a ROTH. If my kids need it, it’s there. If not, it can more easily be used elsewhere. My hope is they don’t need it because they have scholarships!

By: Jamie

Jamie — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:07:00 +0000

@Adam – I appreciate the clarification and, without taking myself into consideration, definitely do see yoru point. There are a lot of people who need more responsibility in their lives and maybe that is what is most important. Despite my father paying my tuition, I do have a signifigant amount of responsibility, both financially and otherwise, between running a full, busy household at nineteen and maintaining my GPA.
I think what is most important is figuring out what level of responsibility will most benefit your children.

By: E.C.

E.C. — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:01:50 +0000

I intend to save enough to pay for four years of in-state tuition if I have children. My parents didn’t pay for my college education, but they would have helped out if I’d needed it. I ended up at my state university despite acceptances and large scholarship offers from a couple of top notch private universities because my parents couldn’t afford anywhere close to their expected contribution as determined by the FAFSA and it just didn’t make sense to take out tens of thousands of dollars in loans when I knew I had graduate school in my future as well.

I’ve had classmates who “paid their own way” primarily with loans who had no more sense of what their education meant than the worst of the people whose parents footed the whole bill. I’ve also seen plenty of hardworking students whose parents paid as well many who got large scholarships or worked two jobs. I’d love to see some formal studies on this type of thing, but I don’t think it would be possible to control for all of the outside factors.

Fortunately, I got a good education from the state university that was willing to pay for everything and provide a stipend. That has put me in above average financial shape since i was able to finish undergrad with substantial savings instead of loans. I’d like to help pass that good start in adult life along to any future children.

By: Manda

Manda — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:51:43 +0000

I feel like Jamie, that there are students out there whose parents pay for their schooling and yet they come out being successful with out all that is mentioned in this article. Lets face it, sometimes it is too difficult to pay for things like rent, food, car, etc. on top of tuition. However, lets also face it…Any one that has gone to college knows that all to often we run into students who are not paying for their college education and perhaps they should be. I think parents need to find a happy medium in assisting their children. For example, if someday down the road I have a child that does well in school and is responsible and desperately wants to go to a great college, but needs financial support, I cannot say for sure that I will not help them. I do think though, that my child will be responsible for paying for a good chunk of it, as well as all the other costs in their life because lets face it, if they are an adult they should become responsible like one and pay for things “as much” as they can. Not be dependent on me, their parent, to always bail them out when they need it. After all what is that teaching them? Certainly not financial independence. It is the parents out there that give the hand outs all of the time that are not only hurting their own bank account, but their children. I know plenty of people in Bobbi’s situation that have paid, or are paying for their child’s education and then the child ends up either not using the degree, or keeps flip flopping from school to school not knowing what to take up. The majority of parents do need to stop and think about what they are doing before just shelling out the doe. It is NOT bad parenting to give your child some financial independence, you may just be doing them a favor. Just watch Opera she’ll tell ya!

By: Adam

Adam — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:42:39 +0000

@Jamie – It thrills me to death that you are successful with your schooling. I never said that everyone was like some of the things that I described in the article. I know many people that are in the same situation that you are. Their parents pay for their school, they pay for everything else, and they make the deans list every semester. I just feel that it is a rarity in these times. You must have been brought up extremely well in a great household. I just know too many people who fall into the traps that I brought up in the article. I would say that you are in the extreme minority. Besides, I looked at the parents side on this post and not the students.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:27:09 +0000

I’ve gone to two semesters of school that my father has paid for. I don’t drink or party, and I get great grades. As well, I don’t throw a fit if I ask my parents for money and don’t receive it. I don’t ask my parents for money, period. My father pays my tuition. I pay my $1250/month rent, my $300/month utilities, my $130/month car insurance, and I buy everything else I need, including groceries and schoolbooks. I go to school full-time as well as work full-time nights to do this, because the city I live in is as expensive as hell. My sense of accomplishment isn’t going to come from paying my way through school, it’s going to come from working hard to graduate while supporting myself and keeping a household running.

I resent articles that generalize to this degree, while the authors often have knowledge only of the circumstances of those around them.